Monday, October 11, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving/Columbus day

(I chose the Santa Maria only because Chris' is not the friendliest of faces.)

To my many friends north of the United States' Northern Border! Which I must again stress is the longest un-militarized border in the world! Huzzah!

Anyway! Its been a busy one for me over here where it isn't thanksgiving and just columbus day instead. Its a federal holiday that I didn't get off. Way to go school district!

Dearest Canadians,

How do you celebrate your Thanksgiving? Us Americans dont celebrate columbus day very well. We take the day off and sometimes Old Navy puts stuff on sale for $14.92, but I dont buy my clothes at Old Navy so what good is that for me?

Did someone say hockey? Yes they did!!! Did someone also so absolutely no time to blog about anything anymore? Yes they said that also!

I have missed so many games of various sports on TV its making me mad. I somehow have managed to sneak in a few 15 minute quick snaps of the games but nothing more. Ive been relying on web tickers to keep up on scores and just look like an idiot at school for the most part unless the 15 minutes I happened upon was worth talking about in school.

I saw pool on TV two weekends ago. I had nothing better to do so I watched an Irish woman dominate a Korean woman at pool.
To be honest with you it was an hour of my life I will never get back but somehow dont regret spending it doing that rather than doing what ever other academic thing I may have had planned.

So one game I did manage to sneak in. The Habs @ Pens. 3-2
I enjoyed that. Managed to spark convo today with that french canadian I think I told you about once.

then there was the Raiders - Chargers game (american football) That got me in the loop with... everybody else. Raiders won so that sucks (yeah I said it)

Then tonight in baseball I got the Giants v. Braves that went 3 runs and 2.

All that and I managed to get my homework done too and somehow im shooting out a blog and its not even 10 yet? What kind of fantasy world is this?

Its been a good monday night I guess.

I finished a book...cripes I should take up producing honey.

The Chilean miners are nearly free! I thought Id bring them into this. Pretty cool they are getting out tomorrow and not December like they originally thought.

There are 5 albums im trying to get my hands on and 3 of those 5 are available, at the closest, in the city of Rockhampton Australia. The others are in France and Maine.

Its nothing uncommon just some Garage rock and beach music. Amazon has two of them...
I will share in a player on this page when ive located some of the seemingly non existent mp3 files.

Till then


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The latest (LIFE-RING!!)

so this hasn't been a great last two weeks. I didnt want to make a crazy sad post about it but I did I just didnt publish it. It is titled "He broke my heart and will probably never know"
In short the crush is no longer so much of a crush. A top that I am no longer willing to go through with my follow up plan of making him just a friend. Ive had some time to come to grips with it but it is still hard to write this. I just dont think he is worth it anymore. He at least proved him self to not be. Is this the last we will ever hear of him? More than likely unless I post the rather rambly post written over those two weeks as things went down hill. Most portions of which were written over tears, but for now let this be the calm end to suffering, questioning, wondering, and all of those good feelings that did come through having known him. For now I need to drag my brain off of him and away far away. Distractions sent to my inbox would undoubtedly be the best help a guy could get right about now. It doesn't help that after all that time waiting my french teacher sat us next to each other.


A top all that these last two weeks have been a drag and drag drag they did. They are still dragging (stupid weeks). Freaking test after test after test, then all that crazy stuff from the outside I told you about. The weather got all cloudy and thats not helping the depression much. Did someone say St. Johns wart? Indeed they did. Is hockey still medicine when you dont want to play because that ass hole is still at the rink all the time? He put a sticker on his truck (brodoser he calls it, I call it baseball bat target) that said rink rat on it; I took it off. Hes getting on my nerves more and more everyday. Like I said he looks for trouble, he is not in it for fun, he's a goon for lack of a better definition. You bet hes gunna slip his way onto the high school team and I will just avoid conflict by not even trying out. Seriously its fuck it all at this point because there isnt one. I get out of high school and move forward. This is a speed bump I can and will elect to avoid. Im not gunna say hes fucked the game over for me because he hasnt. Ive still got friends who want to play and we can in other places. Ive done it before. Besides im more academic than athletic so this is hurting me none.

Upon reading several books on phycology and having several conversations with the phycology teacher at my school I have determined that I have an undiagnosed personality/mental disorder. Nothing to be concerned about just one of those severe passive aggressive type ones. Who am I kidding it probably is something to be worried about. Do they sell a pill to fix it because I probably wont take it based on my beliefs that I can cure my self (which I have also discovered to be bull shit). Ive gotten nowhere in trying to make my self feel better I just get walked on over all the time.

Hey guess what...Its October and ive gone bat shit crazy. This isnt supposed to happen until like March!

On my last post Austin put something in the comments that I found to help me. he said "John Galt's best advice was in telling Atlas to shrug " I found those words to really be an opinion changer. Maybe Ive just got to shrug. Life is to short to be stressing like I am and I ought to give chilling out a try. At one point just turing off like staying in bed and not caring. That honestly sounds awesome and I would normally write down such a plan in my day runner but no...this one just needs to happen when it does...infact I may start with saying screw writing everything down in the day runner for starters. Just my homework and thats it. Maybe a few other important school things but NO MORE. Good start...PROGRESS!!

God help friends help me!

Ive gone nuts...Its 8 but why not go to sleep...thats a good cure for mental aliments. Rest ought to help some. Okay lets try this relaxation thing ive been told about. It sounds pretty awesome.
Hopefully by my next post I will have regained a type of stability. Right now I liken my state to that of a large model of the Eiffel tower made of tooth picks, and a few are out of place, and its about ready to fall into its self. *breathe*

Okay later