Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I had to say it to someone

So yeah I thought i'd stabbed this thing in the neck a while back, but google apparently rules over all blogs, both living and dead, and in its infinite power and wisdom has allowed me to resurrect this open forum to which I used to frequently spew my random and often unsettling thoughts. Once again I chose lay fingers to keys and unleash the power of the written word unto the 43 people who still apparently follow my dead digital thought collecting dust bin. The intention of this post is not to bring you all up to date on my personal goings on as blog posts so frequently are, but rather to express to raw emotion.
If even for a moment when you read " express raw emotion" you made a connection to the fact I am gay I want to FUCKING KILL YOU! A bit harsh a punishment Im sure you are thinking, but seriously this pigeon holing shit has got to end. There are few things in this world that piss me off more than the generalization, or categorization of humans by other humans. How dumb do you need to be to think that a one worded category or sub-category is enough to describe a person? Masculine gay guy, a sub-category of gay guy, is not enough to fully describe me or any other person for that matter. Now i'm not going to pull that whole "i'm unique/my own person" dramatic bull shit as i'm sure the previous suggests it enough. I am however going to come fucking unglued over this subject for the next few glorious minutes so please do sit back and sip your tea (or nattys, I dont fucking give a shit what you drink while reading shit on the internet)
I'm sure there are the few straight people out there reading this ( the kind who are into helping gay people out like we are lost puppies or some crap like that) who think they know whats up with the gay community. Like im sure you know everything right? STFU!
Tell me about all the shit you like and I'll tell you about all the shit I do. Ready go:

Oh sweet! what cool stuff that veganist movement is. you especially had me going when you told me about you love for photography and vinyl records. Nice to see all of those pictures you took on your holga of your cities pride event, and thats one mighty fine prius you drive.

For some people Im sure that was shockingly spot on. for the rest of you who are all "wtf that doesnt define me dood your a hypocrit!"
for starters you used the wrong form of you're and you ought to spell hypocrite correctly if you would like to call me one.
Well the point here, that I hope can be taken by the majority, is that generalization sucks!!
If I described every straight person who is chill with gay people under those terms I would be in severe need of an introduction to some new people.
The same can be said for people who assume all gay guys are into acting like dramatic femmy people and rather enjoy a nice sweater or two.
now I'm sure some of you are all "DUDE! I get it! I know lots of gay guys who aren't femmy"
Frankly you probably don't get it yet so read on.

As simple as my brain can make it at 3:30am here is this real world example.

I have a straight friend. He and likes sports, as do I. He doesn't like sports because he is straight he likes girls because he's straight (believe me he wont shut up about them). Likewise I like guys because im gay. NOT ALL GUYS YOU FUCKER! just the ones im attracted to. (tell me you're not selective and I hope a bus runs you over!)

Simple yeah? gay guys like guys straight guys like girls...asexual guys don't like either where bi guys like both. From that point forward their preferences are just as unique as every FUCKING SNOWFLAKE AND CHEETO!

SO what the hell do I like?

I like a great many things!
I'm gay therefore I like guys and I like nothing other than guys because of my sexual orientation.

Yes I may have a microwavable monkey stuffed with the finest lavender from the south of France, but I do not have it because I am gay. I have it because my mother bought it for me to help me calm the hell down!

I am a strong willed person not because I feel I need to prove my self among my peers because Im gay but rather because I have always been determined and not one to take shit from a dumb ass who knows little of the advice he thinks he has to offer.

I like cars, so do most other 17 year old guys

I will openly admit that my brain does not do all of my thinking for me. NOT because im gay, but because im a virile 17 year old guy who has yet to escape the regular assault of his rapidly changing chemical composition.

Im no lost puppy, confused kid, or soul looking for answers. In fact I have a hell of a lot more shit in order than most guys my age and thats not because im gay! Its because im a fucking successful mother f'er and proud of it!

Shit im not "proud" of liking guys and I see no reason to be proud of being gay or embracing a stereotype that makes not sense at all, but I do have reason to be damn proud of all of the crap I have managed to accomplish and undoubtedly would have accomplished if I was any of the available sexual orientations.

It is Freddy Mercury's 65th birthday. (if you haven't seen the thingy on googles home page GO LOOK AT IT NOW!)

a bunch of people are all...*memory* "HE DIED OF AIDS AND IS GAY!!!!!111one"
again I must correct you my good fellow he died of pneumonia that his body could not fight off as a result of having AIDS and he WAS gay he is now dead, and therefore can not be of any particular orientation.

Anyway! who gives a crap if he was gay! Who gives a crap if Im gay or you're gay or straight.
Who gives a crap that Chaz Bono is now a guy and will be on dancing with the stars? Who gives a crap that I even knew about that?
...why did I know about that? ITS NOT BECAUSE IM GAY!

I have added to the ever growing stack of anger and contempt over generalizing idiots!

I dont care who you are just be chill with everybody. Its seriously not that hard to do. I mean yeah you can hate that douche who tried to poison your water with eye drops, but hate him BECAUSE he tried to poison your water with eye drops NOT because of his sexual orientation or any misconceptions you have about it.
Understand me? Nothing can make you more or less straight, gay, bi, lesbian, transgendered, or asexual. There is no positive or negative value to any of these figures. there is only a singular definition to each of these and it has nothing to do with the personality of the person it only has to do with who they would prefer to, for lack of a better phrase and maturity, get it on with.


You've made it to the end of this angry tirade and I'd love to give you a physical prize however the expense of doing so for all who may see this would be staggering so today your prize is your freedom.

Feel free to comment on this with any input you may have.

...also dont feel bad about anything just because I mentioned it. Only you have the power to make your self feel bad not I!

lastly... Don't ever tell anybody anything, if you do you start missing everybody.

(you there! you who caught that! 10 points to Gryffindor!)



  1. Hey Tyler! I saw that you might be around Hollywood. If your interested to meet some other gay players we have an all gay team that could use some skaters. Or at least it would be cool to go skate/pickup sometime with anothe gay player :)
    Hit me up! Http://facebook.com/mattlwilcox

  2. Dude, I can see that you were angry, but gotta say all this post made me want to do is laugh. I love you and your rants.

    Also I don't think of you as a puppy, more like a little brother. A little brother I'm proud of :)