I would like to open this post with a quote from Taylor's blog which, as you may know, he recently wrapped up. "Just because you're gay, it doesn't make you any less of a man" That quote stuck with me for quite a while. The moment I read it I scribbled it down in my book of thoughts, that journal that keeps my head clear, and about a day ago it came back to me from a source I would have never expected at a time I would have never expected.
I have a good friend that I recently made. Recently being my freshman year in high school. He graduated out this last year but we still talk. Just regular buzz back and forth. We had a class together for the last two years (my Freshman & Soph years his Jr & Sr. years). He's really cool to talk to and one of the nicest people I know. Hes that hockey goalie friend some of you might remember me talking about a while back.
He and I were texting back and forth a few days ago and he asked me if there was anyone at school I liked. He knows me pretty well so Im guessing he figured if he was gunna get anything out of me it was going to be after he graduated and I didnt need to see him everyday. I didnt feel like lying so I said "yeah, I like someone quite a lot".
Of course he asked who. I told him I really didn't want to say. He pulled a "ah come on bro, just tell me" and I maintained my "no" as I wondered what I had gotten my self into. "dude who is she?" I stared at the screen with a bit of a smirk "nobody" I replied. "Is it a dude"...that shut me up fast. I couldn't tell if he was joking or if he was serious. Within that thought he sent another text "Im serious. Is it a guy?". Hes one of those friends I felt I could tell anything to but could I tell him this? I strayed away from it. He noticed and said "thats not gunna work". "yeah, if youre gunna dig and poke yeah".... "so you are gay?" he replied back. There it was; the label I hate so much stamped on my forehead and there I was pidgin holed. "Yeah" I send back feeling majorly fucked. "and why would you cover that up for so long?" He went on to tell me hes cool with it because he has a gay uncle and has be raised to not judge. He told me he knew something was bothering me that I couldn't talk about but I didnt know it was "this". He really is the nicest person. I told him how I hate the label or for people to assume that im lesser than or just another stereotype. He reminded me that he knows who I am though and that he knows im not a stereotype or lesser in any way. Then he said it "dude, just because you're gay, that doesn't mean you're any less of a man." and he told me he knows that rings true for me.
I went to bed feeling awkward, and like though he said all that I may have freaked him out a bit. The next day I woke up with a text from him saying he wanted to meet up on the ice for a bit of a stick and skate and talk. Im not one to pass up any ice time so I got him to pick me up and take me up there. (save gas CARPOOL!) We had a good chat and a good skate. He assured me I didnt freak him out and that I have nothing to worry about. My secret is safe with him.
Well...I think thats coming out isnt it? lol I didnt think it would happen this soon or with a hockey buddy but it happened.
As for that quote, I still love it. I am putting it somewhere in my blog if you find it you win a live performance by The Zambonis! (no seriously) just click on the thing that all hockey games are divided into.
Ive got the crush coming over tomorrow so expect more news soon.