The Romantic Side of Hockey

If any of my followers subscribe to The Hockey News like I do you will have seen the latest head line already. "Is Hockey Dying in CANADA?" it says, "Special Report: By 2016 at least 30,000 fewer kids will be playing the game. A national identity is in peril" After reading though that particular article I remembered the film Pond Hockey (if you haven't seen it kill an hour and watch it here, its very good. There are a few guys who discuss what I call the romantic side of hockey. Its a side I wish I grew up with, and so many lucky Canadians do. One would think that with frozen ponds and plenty of ice that hockey would be booming in Canada however its falling apart. Why? The loss of the romantic end. Somewhere in my mind there exists this kid, weird as this may sound, his age is always changing sometimes hes my age sometimes hes like six never younger, and he lives the life that I have only dreamed of. He lives not in California but somewhere cold, somewhere with long winters. He lives in a place where pond hockey is a regular thing, where I guy can slip out with his friends and enjoy a day out on the pond. They play hockey to play hockey. There are no coaches barking down their necks, they dont care if they win or lose or feel guilty if they mess up. Thats the kind of hockey I wish I had. Thats why I take all the chances to play pick up when I can. Even then I feel like I have been brought up in the hockey world that is full of great expectations that never come off of you. Even when im playing pick up there still seems to be that figure burned into my brain that torments me when I mess up, and even when Ive done well tells me I could have done better. That 50's style pick up game needs to come back. Too much is expected of kids who play just to have fun. I remember being 10 and for the first time feeling like the game was more than a game. I was expected to do a particular number of things on the ice. It stopped being a game and more like my parents asking me to take out the trash... bad coaches make the game a chore. Though there are crazy coaches out there who put far more burden on their teams than they should some good ones exist to. Most of the ideas im talking about come from a few recent coaches I have had as well as team sponsors and just level headed team parents. Hockey is a game and should be treated as such. To call it anything else is to suck the fun away from it. The minute you are expected to do anything but play, score a few points, maybe win, and have fun while doing it, its no longer a game and thus no longer fun. "Let the kids play" is something one of those level headed team parents told that one crazy coach I had. Around school I hear kids talking about their sports. "ugh I have [SPORT] today, we need to do [DRILL], and [DRILL] it sucks!" Sports shouldn't be like that. I ask them "why play if you hate it so much?" they say "well games are fun when you win but practice isnt". Again why must we make our sports a chore? Other kids hear that kind of talk at school and they wont ever want to play. I started playing because I heard kids at school talking about hockey and how much fun it was and their teams and stuff. Quite frankly it sounded like so much fun that I was jealous. Thats how it should be! Make kids want to play dont scare them off. Thats why I stopped playing baseball on and off; too many scary coaches who demanded too much of my young self. Sports should be an escape not a bit of work you do on the side that you kind of like.

Wood stick in hand, skates on tight, favorite jersey on, puck, and frozen pond. Add friends and some makeshift goals and you've got it made.

Winter Break written 12/17 @ 9pm

YEAH! Its winter break for me starting today! I haven't got any homework nor do I have any obligations I feel less than enthusiastic about! Im pretty excited for all the awesome Ive got planed.

I just got back from a bit of skating around with that hockey goalie buddy of mine. We went to my favorite restaurant that plays hockey and when we got in it was all basketball and I was WTF! Then one game ended and the Blackhawks Vs Redwings was gonna take its place and they changed the channel to another game!! BOOOO!!

All set to go up to those mountains for some shreadin! Glad I was invited to go.

Should be a good time. Im going with that one guy I called the french canadian. Hes been a pretty chill new friend as of late. Ive been making friends frighteningly easy these days. Ive always been told im a very affable person however these days one would swear I am a conversation magnet. It has left me fairly surprised as I have never had such ease in meeting new people as I have in recent months.

My latest evil genius project was finished a few days ago. It is a Free-To-Air satellite receiver. I picked up some Canadian programs. One was a documentary on the beaver. Then some Japanese news, and a repeated BBC signal. They played this song and now its been stuck in my head for a while. Its pretty cool whats out there for you to pick up. I finally made this whole thing official and working though with great clear picture. I found a 24 hour Japanese weather channel that shows ski conditions and has running slides of people snow boarding and skiing. That has just added to my excitement.

Thank you to David for this bit of laugh inducing video!

Alright well thats the latest.

Hope that all of you are doing well and that you all enjoy a safe and happy holiday.

Stay in good heath, be well. All my best goes out to you all.

Tyler

Winter Awesome!

Urgent Eagle Project Update:

Not really urgent but I thought id let you all know how its been coming. I am now in the final stages of that schniz! Wooo! I dont remember if I even mentioned when my project was but that was a while ago. Its been a nice long journey of submitting paperwork and getting a great big binder of stuff together since then. That will be a nice thing to have off my plate and the rank of Eagle a nice feather in my cap. Pretty cool stuff.

Yeah thats right. Its snowing on my page! The winter months are upon, the heater is blowing, its noon and its 53 degrees outside (remember thats cold to us california goons), there is snow on the mountains, cider in my cup, life is good.

Winter break approaches! I noticed I totally neglected to tell you about the excitement of...Winter Recreational Hockey!! Thats been going on for a while now hasn't it? I think I said something about a practice or bit of ice time we got. Idk why but all that seems to be in the back of my mind as of late. You'd think it might be at the front of everything, but its not. I cant say anything is ahead of anything else at the moment. Life at current is a cloud of excitement, and thats probably my favorite thing about winter is its endless excitement (so long as the cloudy wether doesnt make you severely depressed, st johns wort ftw!)

either way I think you should know by now how the hockey situation works over here. I do the rec thing in winter then my school season starts in late spring should I chose to ignore Mr goon and play then.

My friend offered to take me up to the mountains with his family to go snowboarding over break. I accepted with out hesitation! I pulled out all my boarding stuff, and its now in the corner of my room. Looking at it smiling right now in fact. I bought it last year after a few years of trying it out and loving it. I went a bunch with scouts no I go with friends. I tried skiing and it was fun but It felt less fun as shredding down a slope on a board. I went on this cross country ski trip with my scout troop a few years ago. That was pretty fun. I felt like a swiss alpine patrolman (Im probly the only one who can get excited by that)

To my readers (if any exist) who have been to or live near whistler...I envy you! One of these days I will go their for some winter awesome but for now I must stick with our local ranges. Ours aren't bad at all though. I think mammoth was ranked 4th best place for boarding (whistler being #1)

A bunch of places in France...check it out http://tinyurl.com/goshreddin

Its where todays picture is from.

Now im really stoked just by talking about it!

We put our Christmas lights up the other day, we get our tree this week. OH man I love the holidays. Seriously! I love the sprit most people have, the cool atmosphere most places get, I love giving gifts to people as much as I may enjoy getting some of my own.

Ill put up a play list of holiday music to enhance the mood...

You know what else is awesome this time of year? FLYING!

You bet! plenty of forces to bump you around so best watch out but when you know what you're doing its pretty cool. Night flying can be even more of a treat. All the houses decked out with lights. The whole city looks gold(ier). Spotting giant lighted outdoor trees is fun too.

Just gotta text asking if I want to go skate...HECK YES I DO! so Ill leave it at that.

Catch you all later in the week.

Tyler

Soccer is the gateway to life structure says I

Soccer is huge here (where I live) and I dont really know why, It just is. I have given it a shot in recent months because a handful of my friends are into it and they like to force me out of my shell because they are the awesome type of friends who do that sort of thing. One of them is a bit older. I met him as a freshman a few years back when he was a senior. He and I hit it off well enough and we've been talking since then. Hes pretty into the whole soccer thing so Ive managed to learn quite a bit just from talking to him. I remember a few years ago playing soccer in europe and feeling like and idiot making some wild discovery. It was interesting to watch for a bit then they tossed me into the mix and I gave it a shot. In ways its like hockey, in others like basketball (the one sport Ive never gained a huge interest in). I can understand why they call it "the beautiful game". Its that type of rapid fire game the world seems to love. There is truly something beautiful in the way the sport is played...any sport for that matter. The mechanics of the human body being used in an extraordinary way. People say American Football is boring because its slow. Its slow but purposefully slow. Its a small organized war and is quite fun to watch once you figure it out. Its planned where as soccer is split second think on your feet type of stuff. Soccer is a battle where Football is a war.

So this soccer playing friend of mine wants to take me to this soccer center where there are a few nicely taken care of fields, pick up games and all that. Hes trying to throw me in head first "expose me to new things " as he puts it. I like people like that. They are the people I want to hang out with. Though hes only a bit older than me I still look up to him as a type of roll model to some extent. Ive never been the type who begins to imitate people I admire but I enjoy spending time with them because by doing so Ive found I become slightly more like them. I pick up things that they do inadvertently. I still am quite the independent person who thinks for him self as much as he can, but ive found that the only way I can be happy with my self is to improve upon my self by allowing in some influence from positive outside sources. I often wonder if my forced seclusion in my earlier years was a negative thing. Looking back at it, it couldn't have been good. I never really allowed my self to have heros or role models when I was younger. I simply had a vision of what I wanted to do never what I wanted to become or whom I wanted to be like. My family provided little to no inspiration as I never really have made much of a positive connection with any of them as much as I have some other people. I often see in my family what I do not wish to be. Ive found that though I hold quite a bit of merit on my own If I ever wish to survive in this odd male culture ive been born into I best keep to the standard male demeanor whilst in public. Thats my polite way of saying I mustn't do anything to fruit cakey. Ive been good about doing that for a while. In a way I am only confirming to my self that male bonding is okay in our mostly heterosexual society and that I will only be made more affable should I chose to give it a shot. In nature the younger animal learns from the older males that surround him. Im sure that at this point in my life had I been a cave person I would be doing just that in preparation for leaving the cave to join the hunters. It makes sense as I will soon be stepping out of my home and into the college life.

Is that empty feeling I felt not too long ago my natural side looking for affirmation to my male identity? Most likely.

odd how all that worked. A bit of guy time cures all for me it seems these days.

Thanks to you soccer friend for helping me and not even knowing it.

This song is pretty cool without lyrics. It works for me as a bit of a psych-up song

Its nice to appreciate music for music and ignore vocals for a bit. Thats why I like

foreign music I cant understand or classical/ non vocal music.

Ive been thinking of putting together a playlist to share with the bloggity blog. I will see when I can throw one together.

It might be work out music...It might be homework music...or essay music (lots of marches!)

or just general listening music.

I like music!!

alright well im off to go read for US History.

hopefully I wont have a dream about what ever subject im reading on again.

Later

Tyler

the week from hell ends!

SHOOOOOT

Its been so long its like I died but I can assure you I am still alive but not well. Im retuning to normalcy however rather quickly as it is now (American) THANKSGIVING BREAK! The week we all get to pay respect to our settling ancestors by eating copious quantities of food, watching football, and making this sacred day the day with the single most domestic violence incidences of any other day throughout the year! Its true!!!

The break starts today and ends Sunday...OHHH the plans I have for this week are awesome, and have been made even more awesome by the fact I have no homework at all over these next five days. This last week started Monday the 15th and just ended today (no weekend) its been pure school work, study, hockey, work, school, study, hockey, work, work, school work. Somehow I didnt die of a brain aneurism. I came home and threw my backpack into the corner not to be touched until necessary. I threw a shirt over it for good measure.

Pressing issue #1

Do not...DO NOT under any circumstances seek or accept (lol LBJ reference) any guidance from any religious organization who claims to be able to "fix" you and make you not gay anymore (bad grammar, but thats about how good they are)

Support groups are good when they support you not when they put you down and make you feel awful. Do not go even if it is free. Do not go if you feel like you may be accepted because you wont. You will only feel like an outsider who does not belong and is doing everything wrong for him self. You will be assured that you aren't loved by your creator and even if you thought at the start you would not give in to negativity you still leave feeling ashamed. However if you have a good head on your shoulders you will take some of what they said, the good bits that weren't hurtful, and more kind and encouraging and you will look back on your life and see that you have made progress from what you once were and are acceptable just the way you are, but if you so want you can do things to make your self feel even better about your self. You should also keep in mind that a fellow with a GED who works for a church ministry that was founded on the internet and holds meetings in free space offered by your neighborhood church ought not to be the one to make you feel bad about who you are...so rip on him in your blog.

Ive got a lot on my mind. A lot of real self discovery and personal cross examination has been going on so I will be writing more about all that type of thing. Its all pretty good growing up type stuff. learning how to deal with my self. Release my past...all that natural stuff that ought to be happening as I prepare to leave the roost.

So thanksgiving tomorrow...We will see how that goes.

I had an awesome day today. I hope these continue.

Im going to read rest and relax now.

Later

Tyler

saying goodbye to my best friend

He was the best dog a boy could ever ask for. A ball of unconditional love that would wait all day long till I got home from school to come rushing over to me and lick my face off. For ten years he brought nothing but smiles and joy to our home. I grew up with him. He took me through my hard times in elementary school, and was my best and only friend then. He stood by me through middle school, and over my summer in europe stayed mostly in my room until I came home. Cheered me up after every loss, provided me with more than anyone will ever know. For ten years he has been my best buddy. Never slowing down until this last week. His belly became bloated. Today my mom and dad picked me up from school and we drove him to the vet. Though he had been slow and slept through most of these last days he was as frisky as ever on that car ride. It was as if he knew he wasn't gonna sick around much longer and wanted us to remember him for the happy dog he always was. The vet told us the worst as you could imagine. Not wanting him to suffer we knew what was best to do for him at this time. I gave him a big hug and cried as he licked my face. His eyes said "I love you" and we said goodbye. Im crying right now writing this out as you could imagine. Life wont go on easy without him. Tonight will be my first night at home sleeping without him, tomorrow will be the first morning I dont feed him and get a good morning lick from him. it will also be the first day I come home to silence instead of his happy clicking claws on the floor and jingling tags coming to meet me.

After ten years of living with, and loving this little guy this is the hardest goodbye ive had to make.

Where ever he may be I hope he knows just how much I love him and how much I miss him.

Happy Thanksgiving/Columbus day

(I chose the Santa Maria only because Chris' is not the friendliest of faces.)

To my many friends north of the United States' Northern Border! Which I must again stress is the longest un-militarized border in the world! Huzzah!

Anyway! Its been a busy one for me over here where it isn't thanksgiving and just columbus day instead. Its a federal holiday that I didn't get off. Way to go school district!

Dearest Canadians,

How do you celebrate your Thanksgiving? Us Americans dont celebrate columbus day very well. We take the day off and sometimes Old Navy puts stuff on sale for $14.92, but I dont buy my clothes at Old Navy so what good is that for me?

Did someone say hockey? Yes they did!!! Did someone also so absolutely no time to blog about anything anymore? Yes they said that also!

I have missed so many games of various sports on TV its making me mad. I somehow have managed to sneak in a few 15 minute quick snaps of the games but nothing more. Ive been relying on web tickers to keep up on scores and just look like an idiot at school for the most part unless the 15 minutes I happened upon was worth talking about in school.

I saw pool on TV two weekends ago. I had nothing better to do so I watched an Irish woman dominate a Korean woman at pool.

To be honest with you it was an hour of my life I will never get back but somehow dont regret spending it doing that rather than doing what ever other academic thing I may have had planned.

So one game I did manage to sneak in. The Habs @ Pens. 3-2

I enjoyed that. Managed to spark convo today with that french canadian I think I told you about once.

then there was the Raiders - Chargers game (american football) That got me in the loop with... everybody else. Raiders won so that sucks (yeah I said it)

Then tonight in baseball I got the Giants v. Braves that went 3 runs and 2.

All that and I managed to get my homework done too and somehow im shooting out a blog and its not even 10 yet? What kind of fantasy world is this?

Its been a good monday night I guess.

I finished a book...cripes I should take up producing honey.

PRODUCTION!

The Chilean miners are nearly free! I thought Id bring them into this. Pretty cool they are getting out tomorrow and not December like they originally thought.

There are 5 albums im trying to get my hands on and 3 of those 5 are available, at the closest, in the city of Rockhampton Australia. The others are in France and Maine.

Its nothing uncommon just some Garage rock and beach music. Amazon has two of them...

I will share in a player on this page when ive located some of the seemingly non existent mp3 files.

Till then

Tyler

The latest (LIFE-RING!!)

so this hasn't been a great last two weeks. I didnt want to make a crazy sad post about it but I did I just didnt publish it. It is titled "He broke my heart and will probably never know"

In short the crush is no longer so much of a crush. A top that I am no longer willing to go through with my follow up plan of making him just a friend. Ive had some time to come to grips with it but it is still hard to write this. I just dont think he is worth it anymore. He at least proved him self to not be. Is this the last we will ever hear of him? More than likely unless I post the rather rambly post written over those two weeks as things went down hill. Most portions of which were written over tears, but for now let this be the calm end to suffering, questioning, wondering, and all of those good feelings that did come through having known him. For now I need to drag my brain off of him and away far away. Distractions sent to my inbox would undoubtedly be the best help a guy could get right about now. It doesn't help that after all that time waiting my french teacher sat us next to each other.

ANYWAY!

A top all that these last two weeks have been a drag and drag drag they did. They are still dragging (stupid weeks). Freaking test after test after test, then all that crazy stuff from the outside I told you about. The weather got all cloudy and thats not helping the depression much. Did someone say St. Johns wart? Indeed they did. Is hockey still medicine when you dont want to play because that ass hole is still at the rink all the time? He put a sticker on his truck (brodoser he calls it, I call it baseball bat target) that said rink rat on it; I took it off. Hes getting on my nerves more and more everyday. Like I said he looks for trouble, he is not in it for fun, he's a goon for lack of a better definition. You bet hes gunna slip his way onto the high school team and I will just avoid conflict by not even trying out. Seriously its fuck it all at this point because there isnt one. I get out of high school and move forward. This is a speed bump I can and will elect to avoid. Im not gunna say hes fucked the game over for me because he hasnt. Ive still got friends who want to play and we can in other places. Ive done it before. Besides im more academic than athletic so this is hurting me none.

Upon reading several books on phycology and having several conversations with the phycology teacher at my school I have determined that I have an undiagnosed personality/mental disorder. Nothing to be concerned about just one of those severe passive aggressive type ones. Who am I kidding it probably is something to be worried about. Do they sell a pill to fix it because I probably wont take it based on my beliefs that I can cure my self (which I have also discovered to be bull shit). Ive gotten nowhere in trying to make my self feel better I just get walked on over all the time.

Hey guess what...Its October and ive gone bat shit crazy. This isnt supposed to happen until like March!

On my last post Austin put something in the comments that I found to help me. he said "John Galt's best advice was in telling Atlas to shrug " I found those words to really be an opinion changer. Maybe Ive just got to shrug. Life is to short to be stressing like I am and I ought to give chilling out a try. At one point just turing off like staying in bed and not caring. That honestly sounds awesome and I would normally write down such a plan in my day runner but no...this one just needs to happen when it does...infact I may start with saying screw writing everything down in the day runner for starters. Just my homework and thats it. Maybe a few other important school things but NO MORE. Good start...PROGRESS!!

God help me...blog friends help me!

Ive gone nuts...Its 8 but why not go to sleep...thats a good cure for mental aliments. Rest ought to help some. Okay lets try this relaxation thing ive been told about. It sounds pretty awesome.

Hopefully by my next post I will have regained a type of stability. Right now I liken my state to that of a large model of the Eiffel tower made of tooth picks, and a few are out of place, and its about ready to fall into its self. *breathe*

Okay later

Goodnight

Tyler