Everybody seems confused about the whole crush situation. I guess that makes sense. I was not too clear on the whole subject only because its not the easiest thing for me to describe or convey in words.
He is a pretty weird person and pretty smart. Ive tried to explain that he can get away with saying things others can't etc. At the same time one can get away with saying things to him
He says "Tyler...are you gay?" He is not serious...how do I know this? I just do you can hear seriousness in his voice and this was not a serious statement. He gets away with crap like this.
But I decide to stay serious and say "I dunno why but of all people for me to tell first I decided it had to be you"
I can get away with this because im talking to him and he jokingly asked if I was gay. I can still fall back and say Im kidding if I want to (and I eventually do) and no questions will be asked.
so after he asks if im serious (most people take everything I say to be truth because I speak with conviction so I get this asked of me regularly)
I say "nah im just kidding" and its all over. No questions, nothing. We then went on to talk about random things.
Idk if this helped clear up some crap for people who may have been scratching their heads earlier.
Understand that we are pretty much back at peg one and made no progress in this conversation toward me coming out to him. Also understand that though I may have said or hinted things to him before that none of that matters and that none of that was taken seriously. All that was; was my brain on a high because I had told him something regardless of how he took it, and it was more or less a personal confirmation than a mutual confirmation. He is with the rest of the world still and does not think im gay.
Hopefully this clears a few things up.
I just have a hard time conveying all this info to the blog world. I want to but its not easy.
Also to the ass hole who is reading this and thinks they know everything thats going on in my life and thinks they have found something that looks like a deviation in the line of continuity...you haven't you're just to dumb to understand everything ive just tried to clear up, and I dont want to hear about your "findings" or how you "know im fake" in an email.
My brain hurts