Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Pre practice garble

Happy Saint Patrick's day to you all!
Now I hope you know that the last post was a complete joke. I blame plate tectonics not my self I just had to say something in a pretty desperate effort to prove I can be funny sometimes. Its not working I know. lol
I was asked by a reader the other day something I didn't know I hadnt talked about.
So whats the deal with me? Simply put I am gay and nobody knows. I havent told anyone but the blog world so I guess the blog world is the only group people who know. Ive never had any kind of relationship with another guy, just kinda check them out y'know. Ive know I was gay since I was like aboot 13. I was confused for a pretty long time, most of that went away only last year. Most of it was doubt and me not wanting to accept that I was gay. I even looked into one of those ex gay program things but I did some research and discovered they only drive people nuts and dont help at all. I tryed a bunch of crap to try to "escape" being gay but none of it worked and I have been able to come to terms with it. I know now that is just the way I was born and just cuz im gay doesnt mean I cant live the life I want to. Its def less of a struggle now that I know there are other guys out there more like me. Its nice to know that one day I will get to share this blog with who ever my special guy is. Im less worried about my future now knowing its alright to be gay just like its alright to be left handed (Fact: In hockey I am left handed but right handed when writing). Have I ever had a girl friend? I wouldn't like to call her that, I was never attracted to her really, she asked me to go to a dance with her. We knew each other from before, I went just cuz my dads kinda a homophobe and I dont need him suspecting anything and cuz I really couldnt say no. We were pretty good with each other and hit it off pretty well. What ever we did it felt so awkward though. I tried to stay cool through it all but I think she may have detected that I wasnt too into her. Shes still pretty nice to me now though so thats cool. She still comes and watches the team play, she knows hockey too so thats cool. So yea, that was my one and only rendez-vous with a girl.
When I look back on life I remember all my fake crushes I had in elementary school, I just had em cuz you needed to. I was never attracted to girls, my real crushes were with other guys and of course still are. Ive got plenty of crushes now but no one to talk about them to :-(
Man is it spring or what? I could go on and on about this stuff but I cant. I have practice now cuz I havent been sweating enough today, its still like 78f right now and was in the 80s when I was at school.
I will prolly talk some more after practice.
if not, Have a happy St. Patrick's day! Erin go bragh!

1 comment:

  1. Glad you've accepted who you are. Feel free to talk about your crushes here, or message me if you want to chat. :)